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> Monday, October 3rd, 2005 > Distorter > Too much turkey ruins tradition
Too much turkey ruins tradition
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Published: Monday, October 3rd, 2005
Fanshawe College staff and students are suffering from indigestion, alleging college food service providers are conspiring to turn their stomachs with repetitive food choices.
Five straight turkey dinners prompted 800 students living in the college’s two residences to go on a hunger strike, refusing to swipe their meal plan cards. They were joined by other students and campus staff meal plan cardholders in demonstrations in front of various campus food providers.
Other students were just as puzzled by the campus food providers meal planning strategy.
“It’s turkey all day all the time. I couldn’t even get away from it at breakfast,” said Carmen Magoria. “The last straw was when I went to order breakfast and they served me turkey eggs along with turkey links, with a Turkish coffee.”
Staffer Joe Pembelton, a notorious soup eater has been having a hard time holding down his favourite liquid lunch.
“The first day wasn’t so bad when they served up turkey noodle soup, and then the next day a cream of turkey soup,” recalled Pembelton, “but then three days of turkey gizzard soup is about all I can take. Please switch it up. It’s like the food service providers are trying to punish us with this menu.”
“Turkey, turkey and more turkey is not a form of punishment,” commented a spokesperson for the college food service providers.
Students and staffers apparently accepted this reasoning and gobbled up the campus wide dinner special, which happened to be spaghetti with a turkey-based meat sauce.
Disclaimer: Stories printed in the Fanshawe Distorter are in fact fictious. Any resemblance to persons real or dead is unintentional and entirely hilarious.