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Abstinence: A look into possible reasons some people may choose to withstand being sexually being active.


Jessica Eden | Interrobang | Lifestyles | September 11th, 2017



While there seems to be the assumption these days that ďeverybodyís doing itĒ, there are still young adults who choose to remain abstinent. Varying reasons can lead to this personal choice, but people can still be left feeling like they are the odd one out or made fun of due to their decision. While a personís decision to remain abstinent is not better or worse than someone who isnít, it is important from both perspectives to understand why some people make the decision to either be sexually active or not and to respect it. The Interrobang compiled a list of reasons behind why some people may choose to remain abstinent.

Religious/spirituality reasons:

A large contributor to reasons why someone may choose to remain abstinent can be due to religion and or spirituality. Some religions uphold the belief that sex before marriage is a sin and that one should wait until they have entered a marital relationship before engaging in sexual intimacy. Sex is more than a physical act, but also the binding of two people together mentally, emotionally and spiritually and this kind of intimacy should only be shared with their spouse.

Prevention of STIs/STDs and pregnancy:

The 100 per cent foolproof way to protect against sexually transmitted infections and diseases (STIs/STDs) and pregnancy is abstinence. Some people decide it is not worth the risk or want to make sure that their partner is not infected. For some, this reason alone is why they chose to abstain from sex.

Not feeling ready:

Whether single or in a relationship, some people do not feel emotionally ready to take such a big step in their life yet. The feeling of uncertainty before having sex can lead to regrets afterwards and so it is important that they are looking forward to it and are mentally and emotionally prepared.

Wanting to focus on the emotional aspect of a relationship:

Taking time to get to know your partner before entering a sexual relationship is something that people value. When the physical part of the relationship is heavily focused on, it can sometimes distract a person from the emotional connection with the person and whether they are actually compatible. Waiting can also reduce the worry that the relationship is only based on sex.

Doing it with someone you love/are married to:

Some people are looking for long-term commitment as opposed to a hookup or fl ing and therefore are waiting for someone they love or see a future with. For this reason, people may feel it is a more meaningful connection and builds a stronger emotional bond with their partner. It also means they are more comfortable being intimate with someone they have a history with and revealing their vulnerable side is easier when they fully trust that person.

Respecting a partnerís decision to wait:

Sometimes it may not be that the person is choosing to be abstinent, but rather is with a partner who wants to wait. Respecting a partnerís boundaries and supporting them in their decision is essential so that a partner doesnít feel pressured and can have sex when they feel ready.

Putting full focus on aspirations:

Some people, but not all, may be spending time focusing on their career and aspirations and fi nd that sexual relations may take up a majority of their time and energy. For this reason, this distraction may be too costly to their focus and achieving their goals to their full potential. Taking time to focus on themselves and their success is their priority, for the time being.